Finding Hope When Autism Hurts

scan0006I have always been an optimist. A “glass half full, look on the bright side, nothing bad is going to happen”, kind of person.  So when our son was diagnosed with Autism at his second birthday, it was good friends and the hope for better days that got me through it.  You see, I was certain that God would heal him.  In fact, I told myself that Jonah would be healed by his third birthday.

We have had quite a few birthdays since then.

We have also had a lot of therapies, supplements, diets, exercises and conferences. All that promised to make a difference in his diagnoses.   None of those things are bad, but we had to quit chasing a cure.

Still, I hoped.  I heard that things could get easier as he got older.  I held on to this hope.  But “Hope differed makes the heart sick.” (Proverbs 13:12) and my heart is aching.

We have had some hard days of late.  As Jonah gets older we are seeing some unsettling behaviors increasing.  He is also getting bigger…. and stronger!  I recently got my first “Autism Bruise”.  Not the figurative kind.  The real life, black and blue, hurts like the dickens kind.  During an overreaction to being scratched by the kitty, Jonah flailed and screamed until I got kicked in the leg trying to comfort him.

DSC_0131

I can no longer put my hope in brighter days ahead.  In fact, it is a painful reality that things may get worse before they get better.

And then, the Great Comforter comes softly and whispers to my soul,

“I am your only HOPE”.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 43:5

You see, there never was any real hope outside of Him.   And my hope in Him is not for what he can do for me, though I believe very much in His power to heal.  My hope is that through Him, I can find strength for today.

Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you Psalm 33:22

It is His steadfast love that I need to walk in.

With that, what else could my soul need?

I know that there will still be days that my heart aches with the overwhelming task in front of me. I need to continually re-center my hope solely in Christ alone and the work he finished for me. I will need to ask for his grace as I fail to keep my eyes on the prize of His Glory alone.

But in this moment, I find my Hope is renewed and I have the strength for one more day.  That is all we are promised…. And that promise is enough for my aching heart.HopeClick on photo for purchasing options.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Finding Hope When Autism Hurts

  1. Dear Rhonda,,
    You are an amazing woman of God. Jonah is beautiful and he is so blessed to have you for his mom. I send big hugs to you and your family. I have been and always will remember you as a strong woman of faith. Keep dancing my friend…… Dance before our Father lifting Jonah to him in prayer. Yes you will rejoice in hope, for He cares for you.
    I love you and miss you and wish I could take away your pain.

  2. I love your posts on your autistic child. We have a son now 16 with high functioning autism and yes it has been very hard as well as rewarding. Teen years are difficult and easy at times. Easy because they like routines established and like to stay home, so you have peace there with no surprises. Difficult because they don’t have friends, are loners and will argue every little detail about life with you. It is so great when they find themselves in art, science, computers or have something they can spend the idle times doing, which makes it easy because they make good grades. Difficult in reasoning with them on why they need to do chores, brush their teeth, why you had to yell at the dog or discipline their brother. Diet is still difficult – try to get an autistic child to eat a green bean if he doesn’t like it – you won’t win that fight – trust me. Easy though, because he prefers to grill his own chicken breast for lunch or dinner and you don’t have to worry about him eating as long as you have what he likes supplied. Another great thing: he will take vitamins or wheat grass tablets, vitamin d supplements. I have to use a little bribery, but when you explain things to them in a medical way, they get it. Yogurt smoothies have helped him so much with the melt downs and coping skills. I took him off of all medications by 4th grade. We did put him on a low dose of zoloft for anxiety at the beginning of jr. high and the beginning of each year thereafter, but now he doesn’t need it since 10th grade. Difficult for example: with an autistic child you have to explain social skills constantly like – We are not rude to people we don’t know. You smile and offer to shake their hand and say “how are you”. It’s not easy, but when he does hug you or show you a little joy – it makes the tough times worth it. When you realize just how intelligent he is, you thank God for giving you this blessing. Hang in there – it’s worth it. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s